Congatulations Everest Poker. You beat me. I'm tapping out. The submission hold you've had me in for the last 3 months has finally become too painful to endure any longer.
After last night's session I withdrew everything I had online. I won't rehash the numbers again, but since I moved back from Belgium I'm ~1 million buyins below EV and in cooler terms I'm somewhere around liquid helium. I have trips, they have boat. I have boat they have quads, I have quads they fold to cbet, I bet flop and turn with top set, they runner straight.
Blah blah blah.
I remember watching a Brian Townsend video a long time ago (maybe even his first one) where he says that you have to be accountable for your own results and if you're not winning, then you've no one to blame but yourself. This is wrong.
If you examine the stretch of hands where I'm 40 buyins below EV (leaving out the stuff I can't qunatify like coolers, as I'm sure my mindset is magnifying this element a bit); say a semi-recreational player plays 100k hand in 6 months at 200nl and runs 40bi above his EV of a modest 3ptbb/100. His EV is about ~$12k so with running hot he's up about $20k. Now say he runs 40bi below EV for that stretch. Now he's only got $4k to show for his 6 months work.
I'm sure this has happened to plenty of people and for medium volume SSNL players a disparity of $16k over 6 months would be pretty big! Even for a higher volume player it's still maybe 3 months of torture, which is quite a long time when its day-in day-out.
It's funny to think if I had been on the other side of the coin, I'd be thinking about shots at 5/10 now!
Instead I'm gonna take a few weeks off, move to a different site and take most of my money out of poker. Maybe start again with $5k at 100nl where I can re-tool my play a bit before making another run at 200nl/400nl. I'm pretty sick of it really and if I didn't think I had a positive expectation of a few $k a month I would happily give up and just play the odd tourney for fun. I have to remember that even in my worst absolute worst months I still made ~$20 an hour after rakeback. I enjoy studying the game, discussing hands etc. but in practice, grinding is frustrating the hell out of me.
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2 comments:
Wow that sucks.
Maybe try taking a break for a while. Personally I find I make the biggest improvements in my game when I haven't played for a month or two.
I'm not suggesting taking that long a break either though. Hopefully, a site change will be able to reset your mind and get you back into a winning mentality.
I play hardly any hands in comparrison to some of the grinders out there so when variance hits me it seems to last a frigging lifetime!
40BI under EV is horrific to say the least! At least you should be due a massive heater at some point to compensate!
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